Twice Rejected

Hurting badly

NIYOL'S POV



It had been two years since I lost my mate, Erika. It still felt like a dream though, but I learnt to live past the grief.



The only thing left was regrets. 



I regretted not spending enough time with her, causing her pain and making her shed tears the days I made her my wife. I regretted leaving that morning. 



I regretted everything that I should have done for her but couldn't. I regretted letting them hurt her. I should have banished them or gave strict examples. They would have stopped and she would have been happy.



She wouldn't have contemplated suicide if she were happy, right? But I didn't do anything. I believed her lies that she was okay.



I walked slowly towards her resting place. I fought with the Elders so I could lay her to rest. I couldn't bear to throw her away. I loved her even through her errors. I made them understand they drove her into committing suicide.



I blamed, Cursed, Shouted at, and growled at them. All of them were to blame for her death. If they hadn't mocked her, she wouldn't have died! I was filled with hatred for every one of them. 



Not until I saw Erika again in my dream. She looked happy and carefree. And the only thing she told me was to let go of all the bitterness and hatred in my heart.



Staring at her tomb, I felt my tears falling. Or rather I left my tears to fall. I had ceased it enough. I needed to let my tears fall. I need to tell her I wasn't as strong as I claimed to be.



"I miss you so much, Erika. I miss your bright smile, I miss the way you always console me whenever I was down. I am now a very formidable Alpha all thanks to your advice."



"But… you are nowhere to be found. You left… without looking back. I don't want to forgive you. I wish I could hate you. I wish I could wipe those memories we shared."



"But… I can't. I just can't… forget you, my Sunshine. Every breath that I take screams your name. Every step that I take records your name. I lived these two years in pain and misery."



"I had to bury my tears in making myself formidable. I had made my heart livid like a rock. Every of my sweat in battle was laden in your sweet memory."



"I miss you, Erika." I said with pains in my heart.



I placed her favorite flower beside her before leaving. I walked slowly back to my palace with a lighter heart. I felt a little relieved after talking to her. Since her death, I never visited her.



My beta mind-linked me to remind me of the meeting with the Elders fifteen minutes away. I was too lazy to answer him because I knew what the meeting was all about.



Ten minutes later, he knocked on my bedroom door. He waited patiently for me, but I wasn't ready to go anywhere.



The meetings had remained the same over the last two years. They kept hammering on one subject only and I was already getting frustrated.



Why can't they see that I don't need another memory in my life? I wasn't ready to give up that spot to another woman. It belonged to Erika and she would remain my only Luna.



Brushing those thoughts from my mind, I stared at my beta with a nonchalant attitude. He should know better that I don't want to attend those meetings.



I had made it clear to him the last time, but he was still very adamant.



"They demand your presence, alpha." He replied.



"Aren't they tired of calling a meeting that always ends in making them angry and frustrated? I seemed to forget this old men have nothing to do with their lives anymore."



"They are thinking of the progress of this Pack, Alpha. There are needs to be…"



"Are you my beta or theirs? Shut the fuck up and make an excuse for me!" I cut him off.



"I am sorry that I can't do that as your Beta of this great Pack. I will always support decisions that would have little or no effect on your leadership." He continued talking.



"What do you mean?"



"They specifically said that if you invade them once more, they are going to come over to the palace and perform a hunger strike till you meet with them." he reported.



"Hunger strike? How childish!" I snorted.



My Beta, Chester drew closer to me and sat beside me on the bed. Heaving a deep breath, he patted me on my shoulder.



"Niyol, could you please take their plea into consideration? It's been two years since we… lost Erika. Could you please give the kingdom some thought too?" I knew he had switched to his best friend tactics.



"I have the kingdom in mind, Chester. That is why I fought to make it the most powerful kingdom. What more do they want from me?"



"You know what they want from you, Niyol. On my side, I see nothing wrong in it. You just can't be alone…"



"Says who, Chester? Who says I am alone? I have her memories dammit! Why does everyone wants to snatch those memories from me! How do you expect me to forget her?" I roared.



"No one wants you to forget her. You just have to…"



"Have to do what? What's the difference? Tell me what's the fucking difference! How do you expect me to face her after all she went through because of me!"



"Goddamn those elders! They don't have a fucking right to my life! I let them interfere once and they ruined it! Do you still expect me to allow them this time around?"



"They won't interfere this time. All they want is someone to continue the lineage."



"And what if the next person is also like Erika? Would they frustrate her to death again? Will they call her names like they did to Erika?"



"They have learnt their lesson…"



I was so angry that I started hitting Chester's chest hard. These people were driving me insane.



"They learnt their lesson? Through my own Erika's death? They learnt their lesson after I lost my mate! Are you fucking kidding me, Chester!" I continued hitting his chest.



But he remained silent as he allowed me to hit him as much as I wanted. I knew I was going to hurt him, but what about the pains in my heart? How could they suggest that I forget about Erika? She was my mate!



Do I have to take a chosen mate? What if something happens to that one again? Am I going to go through another pain? Being a king doesn't mean I don't have feelings!



"They learnt their lesson after she killed herself. And you, my friend, believed their lies? They are all fucking liars! All they care about is their selfish interest."



All the while I was talking, Chester went mute, he probably had nothing to say, because he was seeing things from my point.



I pushed Chester away and made my way out of the palace. I needed a run to cool my head. How do they expect me to have another Luna by my side? I failed the first one, what if same thing happen to the next one.



I don't need another Luna.



I returned to my chambers later in the evening and as I predicted in my mind, those elders couldn't keep their word. Not a single one of them was seen in the palace.



"Bunch of fools!" I cursed inwardly.



They thought they could control me after what they did. They must be mistaken. But deep down I knew I couldn't keep stalling them. I had to give them what they wanted sooner or later. I sighed at the thought. It wasn't easy being a leader.



One of the servants came as usual to remind me that dinner was ready, and as usual, I told him I wasn't hungry. They probably had gotten used to hearing that from me, they only came for formalities. Since Erika left, I preferred eating alone.



"Your majesty, your sister is also here to see you." The servant announced before leaving.



Speak of the devil. It had been almost a month since I last saw my sister, Laci. She had gone on a vacation to her in-laws place. She got mated to my Gamma and had already given birth to a pup.



But it was unlike her to visit during dinner time. I wonder why she wanted to see me this late. What could be the problem? I hoped everything was alright with her family.



I asked myself several questions before I got to the dinning hall. I saw her sitting quietly with my bubbling nephew in her arms on one of the dining chairs. 



"Laci, dear. How have you been?" I beamed at her.



Ever since the death of Erika, Laci had been the only one who could make me smile. She stood by me through my bitter and lonely days. I had solace in her comforting words to me. She always came to visit me every time I wasn't too busy battling.



She was my little sister, but acted more like a big sister. I always thanked the Moon goddess for blessing me with Laci.



I'm doing fine." She bowed in respect, still holding tightly to the baby who was cooing in her arms. 



I didn't know what sounds that was, though but it was funny.



"How is Liam? He looks bubbling and bigger! What have you been feeding him? At this rate he is going to be a giant." I exclaimed looking at my nephew lovingly.



If there was an additional person I loved is this little nephew of mine. I actually had a wonderful plan for him and I would disclose it when he clocked one year in the next six months. Though I hadn't told anyone yet. I was planning to tell my beta tomorrow, so he could stall time for me.



"He eats a lot for a six month old baby! Just take a look at me, brother. I have become so thin all because of this glutton!" My sister complained, looking lovingly at him.



My mind wandered to Erika. Would our baby have been as lovely as this? I am sure it would have been lovelier, because of Erika's beauty. I looked at my nephew and beamed.



Laci gave him to me and patiently taught me how to hold the baby properly and I was thrilled at his soft body. He kept cackling or what do they called baby sounds? I really didn't know. But I loved the sounds he was making.



I held him and kept playing with him for more than fifteen minutes before the servants reminded us of the dinner. I was filled with joy this evening and somehow I felt my heart erasing the bitterness in it.



As we got ready to have dinner, Laci signalled for one of the maids to take the baby.



There was silence in the room as the servant left us to enjoy our dinner. I could feel Laci had something to tell me. She looked conflicted on how to say the words eating her up. 



"Laci, you know you can tell me anything. I will listen…for your sake." I said. I somehow had an idea of what she wanted to tell me, but I needed to be sure.



"Brother, can you please forgive mother?" She blurted out immediately.



I knew it. But it wasn't as easy as she was saying it.



I told her that it wouldn't be easy for me, but she said she understood. That mum had a high blood pressure and the doctor suggested we should do something to alleviate her heart worries and I was the cause her heart worries.



It wasn't like I didn't long for my mother, but the hurtful words she said two years ago still pierced through my heart everytime I thought about it.



I blamed her partly for Erika's death. She played a major role in making Erika depressed and for that I found it difficult to forgive her.



Even on the day Erika died, I had expected the comfort of my mother. I had faith that with my mother by my side I could fight all battles thrown at me, but it seemed I was gravely mistaken. She did not give me a word of comfort, rather, she decided to dishonour my dead mate!



I could bear others talking ill of Erika, but what I couldn't bear was my own family doing the same. I felt hurt, angered and bittered towards my mother. She wasn't remorseful or even sad about Erika's death.



I couldn't bear it and I had to cut all ties with her to avoid my heart aching every time I saw her.



"Please brother, can you forgive her for my sake?" Laci pleaded.



"Laci…"



"Please, I won't ask for anything more from you. Please brother… she has regretted her actions over the years and she's still regretting it.



I looked at her teary face. How could I bear to see her tears? I knew it wouldn't be easy to accept her, but I will try to get along with her for Laci's sake.



"Alright. I forgive her.. for your sake, but she shouldn't expect me to love her like before. I think she should give me three days and she can come back to the palace."



I could see Laci beaming with happiness all over her.



"Really? Thanks brother. I am so happy! I can't wait to share the good news with mother." 



She was practically jumping all over me. This girl! Did she forget she was already a mother? How could she be hoping up and down?



"I have to take my leave now, brother." She said, and I agreed with her, because it was already late. I mind-linked one of the guards to drive her home.



"Alright. Take care of yourself and Liam." I pecked her before letting her go.



As soon as she left, I mind-linked my Beta to meet me up first thing tomorrow morning. I had to make up an excuse to stall the Elders for the next six months.



I understood what they were worried about. I decided to give them the only thing troubling them. I just needed to convince them to wait for six months.



I was ready to give them the heir they so much wanted but they had to wait till six months.

Chapter 21 - Twice Rejected