I had no clue what to do, I wanted to run and scream but I couldn’t move. Would it be better or worse to catch them in the act?
I wanted to hear his explanation, of how he could do this to me.
I wanted him to feel the guilt to help diminish my anger. I wanted him to feel the regret to calm my betrayal. I wanted an explanation to wash away the shock and pain.
Before I could make up my mind he turned around to pull up his pants and saw me.
They both did.
He froze and called my name, she gave me a lazy grin.
And I ran.
“Willa, d.amnit, Willa.” He chased after me as I slammed the door behind us to our bedroom and dove under the covers.
“Willa.” He burst open the door as my tears fell.
I couldn’t think, couldn’t process, I just felt. And everything I felt was wrong.
The bed dipped as he sat next to me and placed a hand on my back.
“I-I,” He started, “I don’t know what to say.”
I waited for him to go on, as much as I wanted to yell and scream I wanted him to be the one that was begging for my forgiveness. I needed his explanation to make it okay.
The heavy warmth of his hand left me completely after a few silent moments.
“I’ll talk to you when you calm down.” He sighed and I felt the bed shift again.
He wasn’t going to leave? Was he?
The sound of the door closing was my answer.
The hole in my chest ripped wider and I couldn’t breathe.
But he didn’t come back.
I don’t know when I fell asleep but when I woke up he was next to me in bed. I felt a rush of relief but I wasn’t sure why. I just cuddled into the back of his broad back and let his strong warmth ease me back into the abyss.
He was up before I was, the dull thudding in my chest was threatening to rip open again. But he came back. For me.
I jumped into a shower and pulled a brush through my hair, my light green eyes seemed even brighter compared to how red-rimmed they were. I grimaced at my reflection, there was no hiding what I spent all yesterday and last night doing.
I followed the sounds of muted chatter to the breakfast room. I paused at the door and my stomach dropped. I pushed past the open door hoping no one noticed me.
“Willa, honey?” I stopped in my tracks trying to loosen my fists that were clenched together.
I lingered in the doorway, there was so way in h.ell I was sitting with that b.itch.
Luna Natalie and Camilla were looking the picture of relaxed, just the two of them sitting for breakfast.
“Sorry, I can’t join you,” I f.orced a smile, hoping it seemed genuine, “I have-,”
“Oh your appointment, yes.” Luna Natalia smiled at me. Oh, I actually forgot I had that doctor's appointment.
I nodded and turned not sparing a glance toward Camilla, I knew it would be my undoing. Rage crept through me, the audacity of her sitting here after what she did with my mate.
I couldn’t focus on anything but my anger.
Two large hands wrapped around me stunning me for a moment before his familiar scent enveloped me.
“Come here,” He pulled me into an empty room.
I couldn’t stop shaking, hot tears sprung into my eyes, “Why?” I demanded of him before he could speak. I shook my head and the tears streamed down my face, I didn’t wipe them away, I wanted him to see what he did.
“I, uh,” He rubbed the back of his neck, he was rarely at a loss for words, “It shouldn’t have happened like that. It shouldn’t have. I am so sorry, you don’t deserve that.” He pinned me to the spot with his chocolate-brown eyes. My stomach doing a flip despite myself.
“I want her gone,” I demanded.
“Willa,” He breathed, “I can’t.”
“You can, she can come to your party but she is not permitted to stay here,” I mustered up the Luna voice I’ve been practicing, I was assuming that’s why she was here this morning.
“Okay,” He hung his head before lowering his mouth to mine. His kiss was reserved yet hungry, and he pulled me to him.
My breath caught, but I was enveloped in the sparks and warmth of the mate bond. I felt loose in his arms. I can’t remember the last time he kissed me like this outside of when we were intimate, if ever.
He pulled back and I put a hand to my swollen lips, the effect he still had on me made me dizzy.
“Now what?” I breathed.
He ran a hand through his dark hair, “I am sorry, I don’t even know. All of this everything that is happening, I guess I don’t feel like myself.”
Not really an explanation, but I wanted to believe him.
Willa, your appointment is about to start - The doctor's voice came through my mind with the mind link
“I have to go,” I paused, studying him, “To an appointment, we can talk later.”
He nodded, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear, and I melted into his touch.
“I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair to you,” He whispered and I nodded, fighting the tears.
“I forgive you,”
The words felt wrong coming out. I didn’t know if he even asked for my forgiveness, I wanted more groveling but I didn’t want to lose him.
My lifetime love that was fated to me.
This was just a mistake that we would get past. It would make us stronger, and our love for each other more intense.
I could deal with the pain, there wasn’t an alternative.
_____
“Well, Luna,” The middle-aged doctor who always seemed bubbly and full of energy sat across her desk, “Er, Willa, sorry.” She smiled at me.
I loved the title, it sent pride through me. To help protect the pack that I loved, that I grew up in alongside man that I always loved but never thought I could have.
“It’s okay, Dr. Lilian,” I smiled at her, “I’ll have to get used to it soon.”
“Very soon,” She nodded, her eyes sparkling before she flipped over my charts studying them.
Her eyes widened slightly before the smile returned to her face, “Very soon you will be called something else.”
My brows furrowed, “What?”
“Congratulations, Luna. You’re going to be a mother.”
I was rooted to my seat as it sunk in.
I looked down at my stomach letting out a laugh. I wanted this, we wanted this and it was finally happening.
A baby, we were going to have a baby.
I rubbed my stomach, there was a baby in there.
Tears pricked my eyes for another reason now.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yes,” Her smile wide, “Only a few weeks, I would say about five or six weeks, that's why it didn't show up yet when you were here last time, it must have happened days before." She mused.
"But I want you to come back next week and we can do a proper scan, maybe with Nolan. Okay?”
I nodded, “Thank you,” Joy flooded through me.
Everything was right again, better than right.
It was perfect.
Coming back from the pack clinic, I clutched the papers confirming my pregnancy close to my heart, I wanted nothing more than to tell him, it would be the perfect birthday gift. Even though his birthday was tomorrow the party was tonight and I figured it was close enough.
Walking into the packhouse the air was completely different from when I left. It felt charged, and people were running around, omegas with vases and small bites of food rushed around without dropping anything.
I didn’t understand, everything was already set up and decisions were made weeks ago.
Luna Natalie almost bumped into me.
“Oh,” Her eyes were wide seeing me, I shoved the papers into my pocket, “We’ve had a change, I’m glad you’re here.” That took me by surprise, she seemed to be happy to plan things herself saying it took her far less time than when I was involved.
“What can I do?” My smile was genuine, I was happy that she needed my help.
“I’ve told the omega’s to re-do the table settings in the dining hall, they’re cleaning it again now but I need you to monitor to make sure that they are doing it correctly. Perfectly,” She handed me a clipboard and tapped on the color swatches attached.
“We’re changing everything?” I asked, looking down at the swatches that were completely different from what we chose previously.
“Yes, the prince is coming,” She waved a hand dismissing me, I held back my laugh. A prince?
“What do you mean?”
“Have you not been paying attention in your studies, Wilhelmina?” Her brown eyes slid to mine, I flinched internally at the use of my full name.
“I have, and the royal family stopped holding power a century ago,” I countered.
She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as if I was giving her a headache.
“They don’t hold power really, yes. But they are still powerful, and we respect them and the bloodline they came from,” She sighed, “Alpha Dracos, the prince, has informed us he will be attending this evening, I’ve only met him once. Of course, he's invited to all of our pack events but he either declines or sends someone on his behalf.”
I nodded, still not understanding. If he didn’t hold power over us why bother with all the changes, and, oh Goddess, the fancy china that I definitely broke a few pieces of last time.
“If you have any questions link me, this has to be perfect,” She turned and walked away her heels clicking on the floor.
I sighed looking over all the changes, at least I wouldn’t have to set out the silverware and I could just direct it. This would keep my mind away from Camilla’s tones legs wrapped around my mate.
Anger flared again, that was in the past. The not-so-distant past, but I would focus on the future. I patted my pocket where I put the confirmation from the doctor and smiled at my flat stomach. The future, this baby, was the only thing that mattered now.
The day both dragged on was over before I knew it.
Dusk settled in past the tall windows of the dining room and I yawned, cursing myself for not asking if I was allowed to drink coffee or not. I saw it a lot in movies but I wasn’t sure how it affected us.
“Willa, what are you still doing here?” Luna Natalia slipped in, her hair and makeup perfect and done for this evening even though she had yet to change.
“I was just finishing here, we just have a few more centerpieces for the smaller tables,”
“I’ll do that, go get ready, it's going to start soon,” She grabbed the clipboard from my hand and I let her. If I left before it was done I would have gotten in trouble, no matter what I did it was wrong and I’ve accepted that.
I would be Luna in a few months and I hoped the grip she had on me would lessen.
Significantly.
I hoped.
3 - Birthday Surprise
After a quick shower, I slipped on the floor-length silver dress that hugged my body perfectly. It was Nolan’s favorite color and something I went back and forth deciding on wearing. I kept a few others from the rack that Luna Natalie sent me for this event, but I wanted to be seen tonight. The straps were thin and the back dipped down. It seemed like too much almost, and I struggled with who I was and who I wanted to be.
A soft knock came on the door and my heart thumped, I reached for the black gift box where I put the pregnancy results.
“May I come in?” A voice even more familiar than Nolan’s came on the other side and I opened the door for my mother.
“Oh Willa,” She looked up at me, “You are stunning,”
“Come in,” I closed the door behind her.
“I figured you might want some help since Lola is out of town,” She offered, motioning for me to sit in front of my vanity.
Lola was my closest friend since we met in middle school and we were inseparable since. Her family went on a trip every summer and as much as I wished she was here for this, I knew how much her family vacations meant to her. She would be back in a few weeks anyways and I would fill her in with all of my news. I smiled down at my stomach. But Nolan would be the one I told first, even before my mom, though I wanted to scream it with each passing second.
“Thank you,” I sat down as my mom went to work on my hair while I tried to stay still and line my eyes and apply some shimmering eye shadow that matched my dress. I could never do it as well as Lola could, but tonight was about Nolan anyways, I doubt anyone would be looking at my eyeshadow.
“There,” My mom brushed out my curls, my hair had a slight wave to it naturally but the soft curls added something to my look.
“One last thing,” She opened up a velvet box she held, “I know you said this was about Nolan tonight but you’re so close to becoming the Luna, I just, your dad and I are so proud of you.”
She opened the box and took out a white gold hair comb strewn with diamonds and sapphires.
“Grandma's,” I reached out to touch it but stopped.
“Yes,” She nodded, “And now it's yours,”
I looked in the mirror, as she pinned some of my curls back behind my ear.
“Absolutely beautiful,” She leaned her head on my shoulder before kissing the side of my head.
“Thank you,” I leaned into her.
“Now, we are going to be late, and we can’t have the honored guest's mate show up after it starts,” She said, sounding more like Luna Natalia.
I stood up grabbing a fur shawl from the closet, it covered my bare arms and the part of my back that was exposed, making this dress more comfortable for me to wear.
“I’ll see you in there,” She left to go to the dining room while I met Nolan and his parents in his dad's office.
“You look beautiful,” Nolan wrapped my hand around his arm, “Showing a bit too much skin for a future Luna though,” He murmured but it wasn’t s.exy. It seemed like he was chastising me for a dress that I didn’t even buy for myself.
“I thought-” I didn’t even know, I thought I was playing the pretty Luna, but apparently I chose the wrong one.
“There is a line between s.lutty and classy,” He brushed his lips across my ear and I shuddered at the contact, drowning out the hurt and confusion I felt.
We walked in followed by his parents, everyone in the dining hall stood up and clapped for their future Alpha.
I felt the swell of pride being on his arm as we walked past the rows of round tables up to the long table for the ranked members and honored guests.
I went to sit to his right.
“Scoot down one,” He whispered.
“What?” This was always the place that I sat at.
“The prince is coming,” He pulled the chair out and I stood moving one down.
I reached for the glass of champagne but pulled back reminding myself that a baby was in me, our baby.
Speeches were made and still the space between us was empty, but he didn’t ask me to move back down next to him. I was lost in thought as everyone rose, I didn’t even notice until Luna Natalie glared at me whispering my name.
Oh.
I stood a moment before a man sat in the seat between us. He looked at me and I nodded, looking past him to where Nolan sat.
Camilla was walking up to the head table and all eyes were on her.
Including his.
The man next to me might have said something but I didn’t hear it. All I could see was her walking up in a skin-tight black dress that flared out. It was strapless and her lips were lined in the deepest red.
She addressed the man next to me before smiling at me, her teeth pulling back over her blinding white teeth. I gave her a smirk that looked like a smile, knowing what I had laid out on the table in front of me, what was in that little black gift box that would wipe that smile from her face.
“The future Luna is a sight,” The man next to me nodded at Camilla as she passed.
“She’s not the future Luna,” I grasped my fork too tight.
“Oh, I-”
“I am,” I glared at him. His light blue eyes widened for a moment before they settled on me, studying my face.
“I meant no disrespect.”
I didn’t hear him after that, my attention turned to where Camilla leaned over the table to whisper to my mate. Nolan's eyes went wide as he pulled back but a smile graced his lips.
What the f.uck was he doing? He knew how this would make me feel, I was going to link him when the stranger spoke next to me.
“I always, hated these things they seem so formal, so forced.”
“Then what would you prefer?” I asked him not taking my eyes off Nolan’s.
“Something small, intimate, with people I actually enjoyed being around.”
I nodded, “That sounds like a h.ell of an idea, just one not suited to tank members and their flair for showing off. Also, what would the Lunas do then? Die from boredom most likely,” I mused and the man next to me laughed, it boomed and it caught Nolan’s attention along with his mother and father.
I stared at them all with a smile on my face.
Camilla moved away from the table finally, only to come around to sit next to Nolan on his other side. People actually moved so that Nolan could pull up a chair for her.
Anger surged a real thing that I could hold onto. How dare she?
What was Nolan thinking? I know he was being polite but this crossed a line.
I scooted next to him as soon as the man left with his apologies to Nolan and his parents. After he left, most others left leaving the ranked members and a few stragglers including my parents behind.
Camilla smiled at Nolan so genuinely that I wanted nothing more than to wipe it off of her mouth. I knew that I should share this with him out of joy but this was too perfect of an opportunity to pass up.
My spite and joy were keeping the same company this evening.
“Your gift,” I slid it to him smiling, “I wanted to give it to you earlier, but.” I shrugged, chewing on my bottom lip.
He looked at me curiosity evident on his face as he opened the box and pulled out the paper. My stomach filled with butterflies as he read it, I couldn’t wait for his reaction.
This is something we both wanted but it hadn’t happened until now. It felt like perfect timing. The Moon Goddess blessed us with a baby months before we would take over the pack, ensuring the Alpha’s line.
“Willa?” He looked at me, hurt flashed in his eyes momentarily before he locked his jaw, “I wish we could have done this privately.”
My stomach clenched, did it matter? No one else knew, he didn’t even announce it.
“I Nolan Hemming future Alpha of the Blue Ridge Pack Reject you, Willa, er Wilhelmina Balfour as my mate and future Luna.”
I didn’t understand his words but my body did.
Pain rippled through me as I felt our bond start to snap. I couldn’t breathe. Fire sparked through me replacing my blood.
I swear this was the end. I would die from this. My vision blurred and went black.
Angry shouts and warm familiar hands lifted me up. My eyes blinked open as I was drawn away from the table.
The last thing I saw before I drifted back into agonizing darkness was Camilla comforting my mate through the pain.
4 - Leaving Everything Behind
The pain lessened, only barely.
I was able to start to think and feel things other than the agonizing pain that rippled through me.
My first thought sent waves of terror through me, was the baby okay? There was no way they survived that. Agony replaced the burning hurt. I couldn’t lose them too, they were my last link to Nolan to the life I still so desperately wanted.
I blinked my eyes open and saw that I was back in my room, my childhood room in my parent's house. A fresh wave of tears sprung to my eyes, I was back here instead of the room that I shared with Nolan in the packhouse. I had hoped it was all a bad dream, but this felt final.
“Honey?” My mom came in with some water and helped me sit up.
My throat was dry and I drank the entire glass without stopping.
“How long?” I asked, talking hurt.
“Almost two days,”
My first thought was that I missed his birthday and I hated that I was still thinking about him first, but I always did, even before he noticed me.
“He wants to talk to you when you’re ready.” I nodded, every part of me still yearned for him and his embrace.
He must have changed his mind, and it was the only thing that got me out of bed and in a shower. I pulled a comb through my hair but nothing would fix the bags under my red-rimmed puffy eyes.
Good, he should see me like this.
I walked to his office determined, or his dad's office that he was using today. I knocked and opened it without waiting for a reply.
Nolan was sitting behind the desk and looked surprised to see me. I was happy that he looked worse for wear, but not half as bad as I did.
“Willa,” He breathed motioning me to sit down, I couldn't read his expression. His face was taunt and his eyes were hard, not like the soft dark brown eyes that I saw when he looked at me.
I remained standing behind the empty chair my chin jutted forward. I didn’t speak, this was on him.
“I regret how that happened, I panicked, it shouldn’t have been done like that. I should have talked to you after the party,” He rubbed his hand over his face and my heart thrummed.
“I panicked, but now that we are more contained,” He looked at me, “I need you to finish it.”
I tilted my head, I didn’t understand.
“Willa, I need you to accept my rejection so we can move on. Both of us”
The air whooshed out of me and I fought to stay standing my grip on the chair.
“You can still stay in this pack, your things are being packed up now for you and will be sent to your parents to make it easier.”
My ears were ringing and I couldn’t hear anything but what sounded like my blood rushing through me.
“Willa?” He sounded far away.
“I Wilheminia Balfour accept your rejection to be your mate and your future Luna of The Blue Ridge Pack.” The last shred of me cracked. Somehow I made myself walk away from him without begging, without asking the questions that were coursing through me.
What about the baby? Why? Why?
I didn’t notice anyone that I walked past as I ran to the clinic. Running was uncharacteristic of a Luna but I wasn’t going to be a Luna anymore so f.uck it.
I ignored the nurse at the front desk and launched into Dr. Lilian’s office.
“Is the baby okay? I need to know.” I demanded. Her eyes softened when she saw me in this state, she must have known.
The baby was fine, I wasn’t, but that was something.
Thankfully, no one was home. I crawled into the bed in the home that I lived in until Nolan claimed me as his mate. Now, a few months before I was to become his Luna I was back here heartbroken and confused.
It might have been hours or days later that my mom got through to me.
“Sweetie, I know it's difficult. Your father and I can’t even imagine the pain, but we need to talk.” I sat up and she placed a tray of food in front of me, soup, and thick slices of homemade bread.
The only reason I ate or drank anything was for the baby, I had no appetite myself and would have willingly wasted to nothingness if it wasn’t for them.
“We want to know what you want to do, we will support you no matter what you choose.” My dad walked into the room and put his hand on my mother's shoulder who came to sit on the bed next to me.
“What do you mean?” My throat was dry and my voice hoarse but I didn’t remember why.
“Do you want to stay here, or maybe go to the city for a bit, the human city. Or we could find a pack for you to transfer temporarily, of course, your aunt would only love your company.”
I placed a hand over my flat stomach, “I can’t-” My voice broke. As much as I would love to run to my aunt's house I used to visit some summers, move to the city, or attend college, and pretend none of this happened, I had a very real reminder that it did.
I chewed on my lip.
Part of me wanted to stay here. That was a lie, a huge part of me wanted to stay. I wanted to swell up in front of him, in front of them all. I wanted Nolan to have time to realize his mistake and take me back.
I wanted to stay here to show him what he was missing and to make it very obvious to everyone in this d.amn pack that I was carrying the Alpha’s baby. There was no way that they would let him get away with this after they saw the proof that was growing inside me.
“I’ll stay,” I said nodding with a newfound determination. I would fight for this baby to have a father, I would fight for them, even if it was the thing that made Nolan panic.
My parents looked at each other and then back at me.
“Sweetie,” My mom put her hand on my knee, “We love how strong you are, but that might not be the best idea.” She looked nervous.
“What is it?” I asked and my mom closed her eyes, my dad rubbed his mustache, something that he always did when he was nervous.
“Willa,” Her head hung and my insides buzzed, this couldn’t be good.
“Just tell me,” My grip on the spoon was lethal.
“It seems well, we heard, but of course, rumors do get started-”
“Nolan wants to take another Luna,” My dad cut in.
My world tilted and spun and I rushed past them to the bathroom where I emptied the little soup and bread I managed to f.orce down.
I yearned for that darkness that I fell into the night he rejected me. I still felt numb, but the numbness was becoming sharper around the edges and I didn’t want to feel any of it.
My mom wiped my face with a cold washcloth and helped me back into bed. The look on her and my dad's faces broke me.
The next day, Luna Natalia showed up. I was surprised but curious to see what she had to say about her son. An apology that we raised such a raging p.rick wouldn’t go unappreciated.
I changed and put my long hair into a messy bun, I was too drained to even deal with the tangles.
I came down to sit next to her on the couch as my mom poured us tea and then left the room. I reached for my cup just for something to do with my hands.
“Willa” She frowned, looking at me with pity.
I hated it.
“I didn’t expect that, no one did. I came to say that me and Hugo are so very sorry that it happened like that. We were looking forward to you becoming the Luna, and we enjoyed having you around.” I hated how she was talking about me in the past tense as if this was already so final as if they had completely accepted it.
I didn’t know if I believed her words, but it was nice to hear that she enjoyed my company. I nodded, looking down at the brown liquid in my cup.
“We are happy that he chose to do the right thing though,” My eyes shot to her brown ones, the same ones as her son’s, what did she mean?
“I know that you don’t see it like that, and it’s to be expected.” She sighed and took a sip of her tea, “But the future of this pack is important, the Alpha line even more so. Although we hate how this happened we are happy that he is choosing a family for his child.” She looked at me.
I was completely lost. Did Nolan tell them about my baby, our baby? The way she was phrasing this made no sense.
A small flicker of hope ignited within me. Did Nolan want to put the baby first? He chose the baby even if he didn’t choose me. That would have to be enough. It would be enough if it meant I could still be with him.
“So that leaves me with a baby shower and a new Luna ceremony to prepare.” She shook her head as if that wasn’t her dream.
“You know?” I asked, putting a hand to my stomach, pressing down on a smile. She was already planning a baby shower for us.
“Nolan and Camilla just shared with us the news.” She gave me that pitied frown again.
“What?” My eyes shot to hers.
Cold dread slid through me quelling out that flicker of hope once and for all.
“You knew right?” She covered her mouth, “Camilla is about three weeks pregnant, almost a month now.”
I didn’t think there was anything else that could be said that would shock me. But here we were.
“So, we hate how this happened, we really do, but we are so proud of our son for doing the right thing. For making this hard decision that has hurt him more than you know to put his child before anyone else, even himself.” I barely heard her.
“Get out,” I found my voice, my eyes hardening.
The shock that plastered her face made me feel nothing but a slight twinge of satisfaction.
“Willa I know you’re upset but-.”
“I won’t repeat myself,” I stood up and walked out of the room.
I don’t think I had anything left in me to cry. I sat on the steps and curled up thinking of how someone that claimed to once love me could do this to me.
What he put me through I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, if I had one.
Well, I might wish this on Camilla, but that was only wishing on her what she had done to me. But what could I have done to Nolan to deserve this?
I always knew I wasn’t enough for him, but he claimed me and then I foolishly started believing that I was worth it.
No matter what I did, how I dressed, or if I swelled up like a whale in front of his parent's eyes. Nothing I could do would make him take me back.
He made his choice, and he was already going down this road with her.
So, I told my parents my plans and they agreed to come with me. I had to stop my dad from going to beat up Nolan when he found out I was pregnant and my mom's tears sent me into another breakdown. I hated that I was doing this to them, I hated that he was doing this.
What should have been an exciting time, their first grandchild was ruined by his rejection. I knew they didn’t want to leave the pack, but I also knew they would do anything for me.
So we left.
I wrote a letter to Lola and had it left in her mailbox, and then my parents and I packed up the house, bringing a few things with us. They wanted to return eventually but I knew I never could.
He rejected me in public.
He chose another Luna.
He was cheating on me, more than that one time,
He got her pregnant.
And I still loved him.
I hated myself even more for that.
The worse part? I didn’t get to choose the rejection, I didn’t get to walk away from his infidelity. I was practically thrown out and humiliated.
It wasn’t just him, it was the others that were so complacent with this. His future Beta and Gamma who I considered my friends didn’t stop him, his parents didn’t stop him.
No one did.
It wasn’t just his rejection that stung, it was the fact that no one asked him what the actual f.uck did he think he was doing?
Fury replaced my sadness as I took one last look at the place where I grew up, the only home I knew and one until a week ago I was destined to lead.
5 - Alpha Dracos
(Alpha Dracos)
There was something I couldn’t shake about her. I didn’t understand it. I thought she might have been my mate based on the way I'd felt when I looked at her. However, it wasn’t as strong as I had expected, yet it was far stronger than anything I’ve ever felt.
She was beautiful, but it was more than that. Of course, I noticed her stark beauty.
But, It was more than her soft black hair. It was the way it tumbled over her shoulder and I almost reached out to see if it was as soft as it looked.
It was more than the way her wide light green eyes looked when they locked on mine for a second. It was the way I felt my world shift when they did.
She didn’t seem affected by me, not in the way that everyone always was. Even when I reigned in my aura I knew that it was still a lot. She didn’t even seem to notice me and kept looking past me no matter how many times I tried to start a conversation.
She also didn’t throw herself at me like many women I met did, even some that were mated. I wasn’t c.ocky, but I would say my confidence was well suited to how great I was at, well, everything.
I couldn’t help study her, the way that she chewed on her bottom lip and the way that her eyebrows scrunched a bit when she frowned.
How did she not feel it?
When she told me that she was the next Luna I thought she was joking. The classically beautiful blonde seemed to command the attention of the future Alpha Norman, Nolan, Napoleon? I had no idea and I genuinely didn’t care.
Even though I was the guest of honor it was that guy's birthday and his mate and future Luna should always be seated next to him.
I wanted to stay longer and try to engage her in conversation, yet again, but I got called away for an important meeting with another pack that had been evading me for weeks.
That was an event that I didn’t want to attend in the first place, and I didn’t want to leave. Because of her.
I don’t even know why I attended that event, it was just a birthday of a future Alpha of a medium-sized pack. They were under our technical jurisdiction even though the royals were more of a title, but I never would have come to something that insignificant.
But there was something telling me to go, and I wondered if it was because of her.
But it couldn’t be because she was mated to another and it didn’t matter that I couldn’t stop thinking about her, she belonged to someone else.
I had to know even though it was too late. I had to find a way to get her out of my mind.
So, I accepted the invitation to her Luna Ceremony where they would take over the Alpha and Luna positions at the same time. My heart hurt to think about her officially becoming his, but she already was. She wore his mark.
I just had to see her one last time so that I could show my wolf that it was nothing, that what awoke in me was a fluke, probably from the drinks I had that night.
I just had to put it behind me, I had to see her to do that.
Thoughts of her clouded my mind as I was driven back to The Blue Ridge Pack. How her full lips would taste, how her soft hair would feel tangled in my hair, what she was thinking when she furrowed her brows, what the smile meant that she gave to others that didn’t seem genuine.
What was I thinking? She was mated, about to become a Luna, and I was l.usting over someone that already belonged to and accepted someone else.
Even if it made me irrationally jealous of another man, and jealousy wasn’t a feeling I was familiar with.
“Alpha Hugo, Luna Natalie,” I paid my respects to the current Alpha and Luna, even if they were about to hand it over.
“Alpha Dracos,” They both nodded their head in a partial bow.
“It is an absolute honor to have you here,” The Luna gushed, gripping her mate's arm.
“I’m sorry I had to leave last time so early, something came up.”
The Alpha nodded, “Of course we understand. We appreciate you coming back again, if you have time later I’m sure my son would love to speak with you about future relations.”
“I’ll see if I can fit it in,”
“Great,” He gave me a tight smile, I didn’t care if he thought I was blowing them off, I was.
I nodded and turned, I wanted to get this over with. The best-case scenario was that what I felt was a one-time thing, but I knew deep down that wouldn’t be the case. What I felt, what I knew wasn’t going to disappear. It would probably only intensify, but I had to know.
The ceremony was the same boring thing I always avoided.
The new Alpha Nolan walked to the stage next to his father. Anticipation built in me as they called the Luna.
My eyes were fixed on the other side of the stage where I assumed she would come up. Every part of me was fixated on it, I didn’t know if it was anticipation or dread, I was worried I would feel those things again.
I had to shake it, but I was already anticipating seeing her raven black hair that seemed to reflect light itself every time she moved. I craved her somehow icy green eyes fixated on me, even though they only were for a brief second.
S.hit, I shouldn’t have come.
I was vaguely aware that they announced the Luna when a figure started walking towards the stage. My heart seemed to stop in anticipation tinged with dread.
I didn’t know if I felt relief or confusion as the tall leggy blonde I remembered thinking was the future Luna the last time I was here walked on the stage.
Her stomach was swollen and she placed a hand over her white floor-length dress. I didn’t notice anything else about her. She didn’t mean s.hit to me.
Was Willa, I found out her name, as soon as I left the pack the last time, was she lying?
She wasn’t sitting next to Nolan at his birthday party but her eyes didn’t leave him for more than a second that night. She said she was the future Luna but was she maybe in love with that new Alpha? Maybe she was his ex who got pushed aside when he found his true mate, I've seen that happen before far too often.
It didn’t make sense but I didn’t know her.
“Camilla has been in Nolan’s life for longer than anyone,” Luna Natalie smiled at the blonde and her son, “Not fated mates, but mates nonetheless,”
What?
“We are honored and elated to have Camilla follow in my footsteps as Luna and have her and my son's heir carry on the Hemming line,” Her eyes misted over, it looked like genuine emotion.
These things always got so d.amn emotional for no reason.
“Son,” Alpha Hugo shook his son's hand.
I didn’t pay attention to the rest. I’ve heard it a million times before.
My attention was on Nolan and Camilla, she didn’t stop touching her stomach. We knew she was pregnant and it seemed like a show at this point.
They seemed to be in love or at least infatuation, but it was rare for such a young Alpha to take a chosen mate, I took over as Alpha when I was nineteen, five years ago, and never found mine. My mate would make me stronger, would make the pack stronger when I found her. But I didn’t need someone to help me. I had my Beta and Gamma for that until she arrived.
I wondered why he felt the need to take a chosen mate instead of waiting for his real one. But the bigger thought was how Willa played into this all or how she thought she did.
The formalities dragged on, I swear some of these people just liked to hear themselves talk.
Finally, when they dragged it on long enough it ended and I was able to mingle.
Mingle was an interesting word to me, most people avoided me. They all stared but gave me a wide berth. I knew part of it had to do with the aura that leaked out of me even when I kept it reigned in, the other part was the novelty of having a prince among them.
Usually, I didn’t mind. It kept people away unless they needed something, or I needed something from them.
“Alpha Nolan, Congratulations,” I shook his hand, he had a weak handshake.
“Prince Alpha Dracos,” He nodded, i.diot. I removed my hand from his grasp.
“Where is Willa?” I asked him, I didn’t have the time nor any want to beat around the bush here, especially when it came to her.
He scanned my face taking a step back.
“Oh,” Realization settled on his face, “You were here on my birthday.”
I nodded once, interesting he would have forgotten that little detail unless he was pretending.
He swallowed. I found it was better to let others do the talking, especially in my presence. They usually gave away everything I needed and more just to fill the uncomfortable silence.
“You didn’t hear,” He looked at me again.
“Obviously not or I wouldn’t be asking,” I fixed him with a bored stare I didn’t have to fake.
“We, well, we decided to go separate ways.” He wrung his hands, a bad sign for an Alpha even though he was only one for mer"
e minutes.
“What does that mean? I don’t appreciate riddles,” His shoulders fell for a split second and I savored it, but I didn’t let him know that. I kept myself composed as I always did, it was second nature to me.
“We rejected each other.”
That took me by surprise, I felt my composure crack for an instant. Willa and Nolan were fated mates and chose to reject each other? That was rare, I never met anyone who did that in my lifetime.
I understood why she would reject him. He wasn’t unattractive, but he seemed aloof, definitely not the dominant Alpha male that I would expect. She was an absolute goddess, gorgeous in a way few were, but also attuned, smart and collected, with opinions.
Again, I was basing this off a few moments when she actually engaged with me. But from those fleeting moments, I knew he didn’t deserve her.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” For him, not her, “Any idea where she is now?” I would leave this monotonous party and go find her, see for once and for all if what I felt was real.
“I don’t know,” He shook his head, nodding to someone behind me.
“I’m still speaking to you,” I directed his attention back to me.
“Yes, sir,” He bowed his head again and I almost smirked, “She left, a few months ago but I don’t know where.”
She left?
That didn't sit well with me. I know it must be hard to face someone you rejected, especially the Alpha, but if it was truly mutual then why would she feel like she needed to leave?
His leggy blonde Luna came up to him snaking her arms around him.
“Oops, I don’t want to poke you with my bump,” She smiled up at him, “That wouldn’t be good for the baby,” She rubbed her stomach.
“It would be tragic,” I replied flatly before leaving them.
Their brief interaction wore me out and I had more questions than answers now.
If they truly rejected each other months ago, then how was he so comfortable taking a new Luna already? The pain of rejection I heard was immense, and to have her pregnant already.
It wasn’t adding up, but I really didn’t care about them enough to ask for more details.
The only person I cared about in the entirety of this d.amn pack was Willa Balfour and apparently, she wasn’t even here anymore.